Sliced onions are great for ... hamburgers

"Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it" - Mykelti Williamson in Forrest Gump.

Welcome to 2013! If you're reading this  you - like every other person on the planet - survived the Mayan Apocalypse. We're a few months late to attempt to debunk the latest end-of-the-world myth, but there are plenty of other myths to examine.

The photo to the left shows sliced onions. Bubba told Forrest Gump of all the wonderful uses for shrimp.

The same could be onions. You can grill it, fry it, boil it, bake it or saute it. It comes fresh, frozen, pickled, chopped or dehydrated.

There's steak and onions, liver and onions, peppered onions, French onion soup, salads and sandwiches.

People also have use for onions for reasons other than the normal culinary uses, including science experiments, with doctors known to prescribe onions as a natural laxative, relieve headaches, coughs and/or even hair loss.

The subject of onions came up shortly after I moved to my new home of Arizona. I moved to Phoenix in December and got to experience unseasonably cold weather, which led to me to catch a cold and experience flu-like symptoms.

A friend suggested a an interesting home-remedy of having a plate of freshly sliced onions near my bed, which would absorb the germs.

Sounds reasonable, right? Not according to Snopes.com.

The notable myth-busting site claims the legend of onions being a flu-virus collector goes back to the turn of the 20th century. However, this legend is false. According to an article in The Wall Street Journal in 2009, " Biologists say it's highly implausible that onions could attract flu virus as a bug zapper traps flies. Viruses require a living host to replicate and can't propel themselves out of a body and across a room."

Sad, but true. Onions have great flavor and add to so many dishes. However, a sliced onion gathers no flu-virus.

Until next time ...

And justice for all?

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." - First Amendment to the United States Constitution.

This head belongs to Texas middle-school student Patrick Gonzalez, who went to a very-talented barber and had the image of San Antonio Spurs forward Matt Bonner shaved into the back of his head. Despite getting the 'do pre-approved by school officials, the 12-year-old was sent home and told to remove the image from his head. The reason given was that the image was "distracting" to the teacher and other students.

When asked his reasoning for the $75 clipping, Patrick said the reserve is his favorite player because both are Gingers and the Spurs were in the midst of sweeping the Los Angeles Clippers in the second-round of the NBA Playoffs.

In other words, Patrick was using his head as a form of speech to express support for his favorite basketball player. And then he was punished.

This good-looking young man on the right was a child prodigy, gaining entrance into Harvard University at age 16, going on to earn a PhD and becoming a professor at Cal at age 25.

Theodore "Ted" Kaczynski is more widely known for being the domestic terrorist nicknamed "Unabomber." Kaczynski has made the Federal supermax prison in Florence, Colorado his home since 1998, where he is serving life without the possibility of parole.

In spite of his incarceration, Kaczynski was able to send his greetings to the Harvard University Class of 1962's 50th reunion. Kaczynski updated his entry in the Harvard alumni magazine - listing his current occupation as: prisoner, his residence as: the supermax and his awards as: his eight life-sentences.

The university quickly apologized, not for printing Kaczynski's submission, but for the convicted murder's tone. In the wake of the university's apology, several alumni defended Kaczynski's right to both send in a submission and his right to be snarky.

The First Amendment right to free speech applies to all. In the responses in the above cases invokes a reminder from George Orwell's "Animal Farm" - "All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others."

Until next time ...

The Kissing Game ... What?

"Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind." - Peter Falk in The Princess Bride.

Happy New Year! Most of us celebrate the passing of the new year by counting down the seconds and then planting a smooch on a loved one, or the person/s nearest us in a room or crowd.

The celebration of the New Year is one of the few times it's OK to kiss a complete stranger and not get slugged by the stranger, the stranger's significant other, your significant other or a combination of all three. By no means are we advocating waiting until the end of the year to get your smooch on with a stranger just to feel the soft lips of ... Sorry, where was I?

Ah yes, kissing. Sam from Casablanca sang "A kiss is just a kiss," (ff to :35) but I must disagree. Kisses have meaning. Kisses have depth and kisses can be symbolic.

For example - take one of the most famous kisses in history: The picture of a sailor kissing a nurse in the middle of Times Square - taken on Aug. 14, 1945 - was shot most famously by Alfred Eisenstaedt (This photo was taken by Navy photojournalist Victor Jorgensen).

The sailor was grabbing women and randomly kissing them in celebration of President Roosevelt announcing the end of World War II. At first look, the pair pictured kissing could have been lovers. But they were complete strangers.

Fast forward 66 years to another kiss caught in the middle of a public situation - this time in Canada. Normally, I crack jokes about our neighbors to the North, but in this instance, I must tip my metaphorical cap to the Canadians featured below.

In the aftermath of the Vancouver Riots, which happened in anger after the Canucks were shutout in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals by the Boston Bruins. No fan of New England sports teams, I can understand the angst of being on the losing side in a sports contest.

But let's be sensible: Did the fans in Ottowa riot in 2007 when the Ducks beat the Senators for the Stanley Cup? Did the fan in Philadelphia riot (moreso than normal) when the Toronto Blue Jays won the 2003 World Series?

Championships aside, the riots did occur. At first glance, the couple in questions - Australian Scott Jones and his Canadian girlfriend Alex Thomas - seem to be sharing a tender moment in the midst of urban crisis.

But there was more than meets the eye. Jones later said that after he and Thomas were knocked to the ground, he was kissing her to comfort her and calm her down.

In this case, a kiss was definitely more than a kiss. It was meant to help the turbulent times go by.

Until next time ...

Don't lose your head ...

This head is not the frozen head of baseball player Ted Williams, the last major league player to hit .400 for a season.

This frozen head is one LIKE that of Williams, who had his dome lopped off postmortem by a cryogenics company where his entire body had been frozen. According to a "family will" written on a napkin, Williams had hoped that technology would be advanced enough to the point where one day, he could be revived.

Just like Napolean Dynamite's brother Kip, "The Splendid Splinter" loved technology. However, unless Williams hooks up with Ichabod Crane in the afterlife, it's highly unlikely that both his headless body and his body-less head will be brought back to life.

The wish to live forever - as well as keeping one's head - has been a wish for many over the years. One person who said he isn't concerned about his legacy is this guy:

Remember this fresh-faced, fastball hurling guy x-number of uniforms ago? If you don't, his name is Roger Clemens, who two World Series titles with the New York Yankees and collected a record seven (7) Cy Young Awards, more than 300 wins and 4,000 strikeouts.

Oh, and don't forget that Clemens was an EPIC bat-tosser (FF to 2:30)!

So a guy with stats like that would seem like a 1st ballot Hall-of-Famer, right? Not so fast, faithful readers.

It seems that "The Rocket" used a special mix of fuel (Allegedly) ... But, like the cover of this Sports Illustrated magazine from so long ago, Clemens has shown to also be "Untouchable" in the court room.

No matter if Clemens is not re-tried on federal perjury charges, the bigger question to be answered will be in 2013 when his name comes up on Hall of Fame ballots. Will he be voted in or not?

Oh no, not another LIST

Guess what Rick (played by Humphrey Bogart) ISN'T saying to Sam in this scene from the 1942 classic, Casablanca? 

One of the most misremembered lines in film history comes from this movie. What is commonly remembered is "Play it again, Sam."

What Rick actually said is "You played it for her, you can play it for me." (it's at 1:46 of the clip).

Similarly, in Empire Strikes Back, when Darth Vader finally takes responsibility for being Luke's father - (Guess they didn't have Child Support Services in a Galaxy, Far, Far Away) - Vader is misremembered to have said "Luke, I am your father."

What Vader actually said was "No. I am your father."

However, a coworker - and others - who haven't seen these movies wouldn't know those quotes - or even the mistaken quotes. With that ... wait for it ... Here ... wait for it ... is MY list of the 10 movies that if you claim to like movies - you need to see before you die:

1. Gone with the Wind - I read the book during my spring break of my junior year of high school and then watched the movie. The story, the backstory and Clark Gable chucking the deuces is epic.

2. Ben Hur - Chariot races, ocean battles ... and a cameo by Jesus. This is an early example of a movie by men for me.

3. Casablanca - Boy meets girl, boy loses girl in World War II, boy and girl meet in gin joint, girl uses boy, boy loses girl, boy gains beautiful friend. That's the condensed version, but there's singing, kissing, and gun-play in between.

4. The Godfather I & II - I lump the first two movies together because they were were an extension of one film. Fredo was responsible for Vito almost getting whacked in Part I and got the kiss of death in Part II.

5. Star Wars - An incredible tale of boy meets girl, who turns out to be his sister; fights villain, who turns out to be his father; meets mentor, who dies nobly. Oh, and Han shot first.

6. Pulp Fiction - We found out what a Royale With Cheese is, how to dispose of a headless body and how to revive someone who ODs on heroin.

7. Hoosiers - A true-story about the little team that could. They ran the Picket Fence, but didn't get caught watching the paint dry.

8. Rocky II - Forget about the original - which won the Oscar for Best Picture. Why? Because Rocky LOST!! The sequel shows the dangers of illiteracy, commitment to family and the true resolution: Yo Adrian, I did it!

9. Forrest Gump - This movie had more catchphrases than almost any movie in history. I think I might watch the movie later one to see how many catchphrases there are. My favorite? "Run Forrest, run!"

10. Top Gun  - This is the movie that started the conversation in my office. A 27-year-old colleague had NEVER seen this movie (or Star Wars, for that matter). In honor of that colleague - and another who loved this movie for the VOLLEYBALL SCENE ... here you go.

Until next time ...

Vacation? I swear we're working ...

This well-muscled guy is President Barack Obama - whom critics say "seems to always be on vacation."

The Prez - who recently announced he was running for reelection - was knocked for playing golf when the recent tragic events in Japan initially unfolded.

At least he wasn't complaining about fellow students making cell phones calls from the library to check on family members.

But how true are the claims that Obama does nothing but spend time frolicking at the beach?

According to factcheck.org, just like the myth that Greedo Shot First, claims of Obama being a vacation-isto are greatly exaggerated.

In his first year in office, Obama spent all or part of 26 days on Vay-Kay.  In comparison, President Reagan spent all or part of 42 days on vacation in his first year. Before telling the nation to "Read My Lips," George H.W. Bush spent all or part of 40 days on vacation in his first year; while George (Dubya) Bush spent all or part of 77 days on vacation in 2001.

Jimmy Carter spent 19 days and Bill Clinton took 21 vacation days.

But the Best Vacation Award goes to the lawyers for the man pictured below:

Yes, that's the same guy. And he - Barry Bonds - isn't on trial for gaining 30 pounds of muscle and 1-2 helmet sizes via "unnatural" methods (allegedly).

He's on trial for allegedly lying to a federal grand jury about  whether of not he used ... "unnatural" methods (allegedly).

However, the lawyers for Bonds rested their case today without calling a single witness.

One could say that the defense thinks the prosecution has done such a great job of mucking up its case that no defense is needed.

Or .. since it is Spring Break, maybe Bonds' lawyers are trying to join Jack Box in Cancun?

Until next time ...

Greedo Shot First .. Why we're here

Who is this guy and why are we here?
The handsome fellow featured in the photo is Greedo, the bounty hunter. He had the misfortune of running into Han Solo in a bar early in the movie Star Wars.
What happens next is what urban legend is made of:

There was an exchange of words and then gunfire. When the puff of smoke cleared, Greedo was slumped over the table dead. Since 1977, the question has raged - Who shot first, Han or Greedo.

The answer depends on which version of the movie you're watching ...

In the original film, it was Han who shot first.

But as hanshootsfirst.org and Peter Howell of the Toronto Star wrote, in subsequent re-releases on video and DVD, Star Wars creator George Lucas changed the scene to make it appear that Greedo shot first because Lucas wanted to make Han look less of a rogue and more of a good guy. 

So what's the answer? To paraphrase Ben Kenobi, both Han and Greedo shot first, depending on your point of view.

This recap is an explanation of what this blog is about, or as Obi-Wan so aptly put it: "You're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."

Until next time ...